Worst Christmas Song Ever?

[kniteracy]

Lightly discussing terrible Christmas music with autographedcat, I presented my personal 'holiday hell' song. This was on a Christmas album my mother used to play. It included things like Aretha Franklin singing "Walking in a Winter Wonderland", and this monstrosity, "That Holiday Feeling", a duet between Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme. She sang the first line of every verse, and then they'd trade.

Alas, I have not been able to find an mp3 of this anywhere, so I'll offer some prize or other to the person who can supply me with audio. ;-)

The album, if I remember correctly, also featured Gary Puckett singing "O Holy Night".



That Holiday Feeling
Words and Music by Bill Jacob and Patty Jacob
Appears on That Holiday Feeling

Look how the snow is snowing
Your eyes are soft and glowing
Jack Frost is nipping at our feet
I'll bet your lips are warm and sweet
We've got that holiday feeling
That happy holiday feeling
Let's roast chestnuts by the fire
Any little thing you desire

Those reindeer soon will be here
Won't mean a thing to me dear
When Santa Claus begins his flight
I hope he gets a flat tonight
We've got that holiday feeling
That happy holiday feeling
Our favorite holiday of the year

I better leave
It's been so lovely like this
A chance I'd never miss
But it's so late

On New Years Eve
At twelve o'clock we'll stop to kiss
And while the whole world will be whistle blowing
We will still be mistletoe-ing

You think you're such a smarty
Come on let's have a party
I know what's running through your mind
This is the season to be kind
We've got that holiday feeling
That happy holiday feeling

So come and snuggle close to me
Right here where you're supposed to be
Let's kiss, 'cause it's the season, dear
Let's kiss, who needs a reason, dear
We've got that holiday feeling now


What's your Worst Christmas Song Ever?

Comments

[filkerdave.livejournal.com]

I gotcher worst Christmas song right here (http://filkerdave.livejournal.com/615685.html)

[telynor.livejournal.com]

That is, admittedly, awful.

[auryn29a.livejournal.com]

Heh. I was just about the say I'm surprised no one mentioned "Dominic the Christmas Donkey" yet, then I clicked your link.

[caoilfhionn.livejournal.com]

The Cat Carol, (http://www.catcarol.com/) hands down. (You can read the lyrics AND get sappy merchandise at the site.) It's precious, it's sappy, it's moralizing, it's predictable. I particularly loathe the version sung by Meryn Cadell, which sounds catlike in all the wrong, yowling ways.

[telynor.livejournal.com]

omg.

That is *vile*.

It might be enough to chase "That Holiday Feeling" right outta my head....

[redaxe.livejournal.com]

You want me to pick just ONE?

I really hate many of the syrupy, sappy songs. Hate Good King Wenceslaus at dirge beat. Despise Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer, except perhaps once every five years. Not fond of most of the seasona; rap stuff. And I swing back and forth between enjoying and loathing Feliz Navidad.

That's a start on it :-)

[telynor.livejournal.com]

Hm...

Good King Wenceslas is one of my favourites, but it should be played at a lively tempo. Feliz Navidad, ugh. Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer is much funnier in England. ;-)

One of my favourite music teachers once told me that the 'christmas season''s one redeeming quality for early musicians is that it's the only time of the year when everyone sings early music.

[angevin2.livejournal.com]

Heh, you should hear Steeleye Span's extremely hyper version of GKW. It's great fun. :D

[peteralway.livejournal.com]

Oh, boy, I can play Scrooge!

I know that there are some horrible X-mas songs that I don't hear enough to be mortified by, but the one in heavy rotation that I despise is "Jingle Bell Rock." It gives me this horrible sense of "Hey, I bet we could get rich by writing a christmas song that cashes in on the 'rock-n-roll' fad that these kids are listening to these days." And the melody--the way the word "rock" just lays there like a...like a...like a rock.

Bah! Humbug!

[telynor.livejournal.com]

I can't stand "Jingle Bell Rock" either. Euugh.

[auryn29a.livejournal.com]

I've found a version by the US Navy. You want that one?

[telynor.livejournal.com]

*boggle*

I'm terrified! Are there vocals?

[dyddgu.livejournal.com]

good grief, how has no-one yet mentioned the golden christmas shoes (http://www.freedwings.com/christmasshoes.php)? Makes me want to BAAAAARF!

[telynor.livejournal.com]

aaaaaaaaag!

I got through one verse and then felt bile coming up, so I clicked away, clicked away, clicked away FAST! ;)

[wheezinggirl.livejournal.com]

I actually like most christmas music. However, the ones that I have an aversion to are more about experience than anything else.

Because I worked at Montgomery Ward department stores during college when I came home for the holidays, the store would play the same "tape" over and over again during the holiday season. It was a tape created by the corporate office that had advertisements for Ward's products between songs. Because I would be working by myself in the drapery department (and believe me - NO ONE buys draperys during the holidays), I would be bored and miserable.

So now that the stage is set: The two holiday songs I can't listen to any more are:
"All I Want For Christmas are My Two Front Teeth" and "I want a Hippopotomus for Christmas".

[telynor.livejournal.com]

Honestly, I do like a lot of Christmas music. I particularly love good English Christmas music when sung by people who really love it. This is why I'm excited about this weekend's Carols and Customs at CSH. I also love Messiah sings.

But the smarmy, cutesy, make-me-wanna-puke pop Christmas songs, from Burl Ives' "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" right on up to whatever pop star is trying to make a quick holiday buck this year? *eeeuuugh*

[janewilliams20.livejournal.com]

I am very glad that I have never heard of that before (nor many of the others mentioned here).
Until I met those, I think that despite the horrors of "Jingle bell rock", my most hated Christmas song was "Mistletoe and wine". I'm not quite sure why, but possibly because it's so moronically simple, in both lyrics and tune, that it comes across as condescending to the listener.

[telynor.livejournal.com]

I have never heard of "Mistletoe and Wine", but it has its own entry in Wikipedia, (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mistletoe_and_Wine) so it must be important.

I did read the lyrics, (http://www.lyricsfreak.com/c/cliff+richard/mistletoe+wine_20032189.html) though. Aie.

[delchi.livejournal.com]

As I'm not part of any of this holiday bit, I object to not just the music, but it's LD 50 levels all over the place. You can't tune into a radio station or go out into the real world without hearing some form of holiday song. The Ipod is a manditory personal safety device until Jan 1.

Yes, stuff it all. The bin is right over there.

[telynor.livejournal.com]

The Ipod is a manditory personal safety device until Jan 1.

I like this. ;)

[aunty_marion]

I don't think I have a personal 'worst tune', but what I really hate is what I've experienced in two different shops today - christmas music played at a funereal pace. One of them (I forget which tune now, but it was something like 'Hark the Herald Angels Sing') was so slow I had to stop and *listen* to it to work out what on earth it was supposed to be!

[telynor.livejournal.com]

Yeah, because Christmas *is* a big old funeral-- but only for your bank balance. ;)

[trinsf.livejournal.com]

I am a big ol' holiday music ho, of course, and enjoy things that would make others cringe, like Jon Anderson's "I Saw Three Ships" with the background spaceship noises. 'Bout the only song I regret knowing all the lyrics to is this one.

*sings*

When Santa goes to Me-xi-co
He takes a reindeer called Pablo
Pablo can sing and dance and sway
He leads the reindeer all the way!

Santa can’t speak the Espanol,
So he depends on good old Paul,
All the muchachos love him so,
Pablo the reindeer from Mexico!

Without him, Santa would not know where he’s going
(ay, yi, yi, yi)
Without him, he would not know if it was snowing!
(spoken) South of the border?

Pablo can do the cha cha cha,
He makes the children laugh, ha, ha!
All the muchachos shout “Ole,
Pablo, please hurry back,” they say!

*bow*

Sung at malls all over the Delmarva peninsula. Folks, I'm here all week! Don't forget to tip your servers!

[telynor.livejournal.com]

Yow. I had never heard this before, either....

[sweetmusic-27.livejournal.com]

I am capable of withstanding, even singing along with, some really awful Christmas crap.

But when I was in high school, there was a Door Decorating contest. And all the teachers and classes whipped out wrapping paper and ribbons and weird crap. But my Algebra II teacher, or maybe it was Calc by then, who knows? (She taught all the standard math courses.) Her door was decorated with a giant X-mas hippopotamus, and it played "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas (http://www.minibite.com/christmas/hippo.htm)" whenever somebody opened the door. Or maybe whenever somebody walked by.

It played ALL THE TIME. In the halls, during class, after school. After the first couple of days, she shut it off during classes, but the damage was done. Any time I hear this song, I get twitchy.

[peteralway.livejournal.com]

I'd never heard the song until I followed the link a few minutes ago. And, well, it actually is a fun song. At least when heard exactly once in an entire lifetime.

[msminlr.livejournal.com]

I don't have any particular UnFavorite songs per-se, but I LOATHE AND DESPISE the recording of "I'll Have a Blue Christmas Without You" done by Elvis Presley. It's really the backup vocals that drive me from the room.

[telynor.livejournal.com]

*grin*

I think those were Elvis' usual backup singers. ;)

[little-cinnamon.livejournal.com]

I can't believe no one has mentioned "Last Christmas I Gave You My Heart" yet. I love Christmas songs, but I hate that with a passion.

[telynor.livejournal.com]

Agh!

Also, "All I want for Christmas is You". Or is that the same song?

[weirdsister.livejournal.com]

The Beatles' "Christmas Time is Here Again." It's off key, sloppy, and just plain-assed bad. They sound like they hate it, too!

[telynor.livejournal.com]

*laugh*

Yes, and more than a little surprising.

"Aaaaaall we are saaaaaying, is giiiive Christ a chaaaance...."

OK, I'll run away now. ;)

[roaming.livejournal.com]

They're melding at this point. Whenever some "soul sister" decides to take a "classical" song from my mom's generation (the 40's-60's) and give it that certain black jazz twist. . . I cringe. But then, I cringe when I hear Burl Ives too. :-)

The one song that never fails to bring me to my weak knees in goose-bumps is O Holy Night. (Falllllll on your knees, oh hear the angel voices, oh niiiii ight devine, oh oh night. . .) Even though I'm agnostic slouching toward aethiest pagan. As long as they sing it straight, just a pure perfect voice, no funny stuff.

[telynor.livejournal.com]

I'll have to find that Gary Puckett recording for you... ;)

That Holiday Feeling

[hvideo.livejournal.com]

I haven't found a free copy for you, but it looks like you can download a copy of just that track for 88 cents (US) from the Walmart Music Download site.

It was included in the Tascarora Mill 2004 album

http://downloads.walmart.com/swap/

Re: That Holiday Feeling

[telynor.livejournal.com]

Ooh. Now, do I want to be tortured by Steve and Eydie badly enough to actually pay 88 cents for the privilege? I'll have to think on this. :)

This may be the album your mother played

[hvideo.livejournal.com]

Doing a search I came across a reference that looks to be the album your mother played:

Grant's "A Very Merry Christmas Volume IV" has the following tracks:

Steve Lawrence & Eydie Gorme - That Holiday Feeling
Gary Puckett - Oh Holy Night
Arthur Fiedler & The Boston Pops - Tchaikovsky: Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy; Dance of the Toy Flutes from "The Nutcracker Suite"
Mark Lindsay - What Child Is This?
Mel Torme - The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire)
Barbra Streisand - The Best Gift
Johnny Cash - I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day
Tony Bennett - Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
Aretha Franklin - Winter Wonderland
Bing Crosby - The Secret of Christmas
Julie Andrews - Silent Night
Peter Nero - Christmas Medley: Hallelujah Chorus; Hark! The Herald Angels Sing; Deck The Hall With Boughs of Holly; Joy To The World; Hallelujah Chorus (reprise)

Re: This may be the album your mother played

[telynor.livejournal.com]

OMG.

That is totally it. I can still hear the terrible Mel Torme recording of The Christmas Song (which ought to be banned anyway, but when Mel sings it it's even worse).

Worst Christmas Song

[(Anonymous)]

"That Holiday Feeling" worst Christmas song ever? No way, pal..."She sang the first line of every verse, and then they'd trade..." That's what's called a DUET, and it used to be a staple in vocal music until the cretins with the electric guitars took over the business.

MY worst Christmas song ever is Elvis's version of "White Christmas" and "And So This Is Christmas."

Re: Worst Christmas Song

[telynor.livejournal.com]

*chuckle*

Sorry if I've offended the anonymous president of the Steve and Eydie Fan Club or something, but if you come back (assuming you're not just a random troll with an IP address that makes it look as if you are hard at work at the Chrysler Corporation), I hope you'll note that there are some folks who've commented above who clearly like this kind of "holiday music," and that's great. I don't like cheesy holiday music and shudder at sentimental, sappy lines, but everybody doesn't have to think like me.

Just so you know, a duet is any musical composition for two voices. The word can also refer to the performers themselves, if they characteristically perform together. "Duet" doesn't necessarily imply a cheesy line-by-poorly-written-line tradeoff between a couple of crooners. I mean, really: "Look how the snow is snowing"? It just doesn't do a thing for me.

I'm sure if I looked hard enough, I could find some electric guitar duets, actually, but I don't have time to do that today. Besides, I don't like a lot of music that is electric guitar-driven, personally.

Elvis' version of "White Christmas" is pretty dire, it's true. For me, any version of "White Christmas" is pretty dire, though. I'm not sure about "And So This is Christmas," honestly; to me it's just another pop song that gets played at Christmastime.

[meritmaat.livejournal.com]

"In der Weihnachstsbäckerie" by Rolf Zuckowski.
I hate it.