It's a weird old country
Oct. 1st, 2006 03:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kniteracyWhen I was in Ireland last summer for Scoil na gCláirseach, I got an Irish PAYG SIM for my phone, from Carphone Warehouse, which is where we ted to go for mobile phone stuff, mostly out of habit, I think.
About a week after we got back from Ireland, a little booklet came to the house, addressed to J, in whose name our main CW account is in, all about the new K800i and how great it was that J had this phone (which of course he doesn't: it's my phone!), and it mentioned his name and put him into the text in an amusingly familiar manner.
Today, we got an advert from Carphone Warehouse, addressed to me. Apparently, CW thinks I should move from my PAYG plan (the one I used in Ireland for two weeks in August) and get a monthly contract.
I will quote from the text:
"Harper, switch to a contract account and go home with one of our gorgeous models"
I am not making this up. The cover picture is a Nokia 1100 being brushed with a makeup brush.
"Exclusive! Nokia 1100 speaks out: 'My Life With Harper'"
OK, slightly creepy, especially since I've never owned a Nokia 1100. A quick search suggests that this is one of the phones they offer at a good price to PAYG customers, so OK, only a little creepy.
But inside, it gets even weirder....
"I've given Harper the best years of my battery
With younger phones throwing themselves at harper this Nokia 1100 is not sure what the future holds for their relationship.
Good lord.
There follows an interview with the Nokia 1100 about its relationship with me. Trust me: I couldn't make this up.
How would you describe your relationship with Harper?
Well, I thought it was going great. We'd talk all the time, hang out together, go to pubs, clubs and even to the cinema (athough I'd always get turned off when the film started). As far as I'm concerned, I've given Harper the best years of my battery!
So, what made you start to have your doubts about yourself?
At first, I thought Harper woul never get rid of me. In my mind, our relationship was solid. Then The Carphone Warehouse started flaunting, younger, sexier models. I man, these latest phones all seem to be more attractive. They have great features and come with fantastic packages. I began to feel like I couldn't compete with them anymore.
What does the fuure hold for your relationship?
All I want is for Harper to be happy. So as difficult as this may be for me to say, I'll understand if I'm traded in for a younger model. After all, it's not every day Harper gets a fantastic opportunity like this. Plus, she'll get up to £20 for me and 10% off any accessory when she upgrades to a monthly contract.
Apparently, all Harper needs to do is pop into her loca Carphone Warehouse store or visit (website) for more details.
Whatever Harper decides, I will always be grateful for the life we've had together.
--
The next page is a series of nice phones with nots about what contracts you can get with them and how sweet a deal they are, all prefaced with some remark like, "Fancy a fresh start with me, Harper?"
I am boggled.
Carphone Warehouse obviously has a little too much time on their hands....
About a week after we got back from Ireland, a little booklet came to the house, addressed to J, in whose name our main CW account is in, all about the new K800i and how great it was that J had this phone (which of course he doesn't: it's my phone!), and it mentioned his name and put him into the text in an amusingly familiar manner.
Today, we got an advert from Carphone Warehouse, addressed to me. Apparently, CW thinks I should move from my PAYG plan (the one I used in Ireland for two weeks in August) and get a monthly contract.
I will quote from the text:
"Harper, switch to a contract account and go home with one of our gorgeous models"
I am not making this up. The cover picture is a Nokia 1100 being brushed with a makeup brush.
"Exclusive! Nokia 1100 speaks out: 'My Life With Harper'"
OK, slightly creepy, especially since I've never owned a Nokia 1100. A quick search suggests that this is one of the phones they offer at a good price to PAYG customers, so OK, only a little creepy.
But inside, it gets even weirder....
"I've given Harper the best years of my battery
With younger phones throwing themselves at harper this Nokia 1100 is not sure what the future holds for their relationship.
Good lord.
There follows an interview with the Nokia 1100 about its relationship with me. Trust me: I couldn't make this up.
How would you describe your relationship with Harper?
Well, I thought it was going great. We'd talk all the time, hang out together, go to pubs, clubs and even to the cinema (athough I'd always get turned off when the film started). As far as I'm concerned, I've given Harper the best years of my battery!
So, what made you start to have your doubts about yourself?
At first, I thought Harper woul never get rid of me. In my mind, our relationship was solid. Then The Carphone Warehouse started flaunting, younger, sexier models. I man, these latest phones all seem to be more attractive. They have great features and come with fantastic packages. I began to feel like I couldn't compete with them anymore.
What does the fuure hold for your relationship?
All I want is for Harper to be happy. So as difficult as this may be for me to say, I'll understand if I'm traded in for a younger model. After all, it's not every day Harper gets a fantastic opportunity like this. Plus, she'll get up to £20 for me and 10% off any accessory when she upgrades to a monthly contract.
Apparently, all Harper needs to do is pop into her loca Carphone Warehouse store or visit (website) for more details.
Whatever Harper decides, I will always be grateful for the life we've had together.
--
The next page is a series of nice phones with nots about what contracts you can get with them and how sweet a deal they are, all prefaced with some remark like, "Fancy a fresh start with me, Harper?"
I am boggled.
Carphone Warehouse obviously has a little too much time on their hands....
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no subject
Date: 2006-10-01 02:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-01 02:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-01 02:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-01 02:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-01 02:55 am (UTC)I suppose it's better than just being screwed by your phone company -- at least they have the decency to proposition you first!
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Date: 2006-10-01 03:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-01 06:07 am (UTC)- obviously it doesn't love me or I am just not worthy.
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Date: 2006-10-01 08:21 am (UTC)CB
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Date: 2006-10-01 08:30 am (UTC)How about the one where the little phone runs away from home because it's jealous, complete with suitcase and tiny tear . . . . ?
Or the one where our little hero runs through a tall (how did he manage that anyway?) grassy field, to be swept up in the open arms of his owner in a bad 70's romantic stylee . . . ?
Personally, I think all advertising shlocks should be shot but they do a job and I bet you can all remember the Shake 'n' Vac advert! (Well, those of us from the UK old enough to that is!)
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Date: 2006-10-02 08:51 am (UTC)(and incidentally, a disturbingly high level of airborne carcinogens into the bargain. But I don't think they could get that to rhyme...)
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Date: 2006-10-03 09:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-02 10:03 am (UTC)just.....
so....
odd.
Sort of gaimanesque dontcha think?
Weird.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-02 10:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-02 02:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-02 05:02 pm (UTC)