And from what looks like another quarter: I'm a lot more feisty and even tho I crave approval, (as do you I notice), I'm not one to go and hide from disagreement, and have been accused of being quite disagreeable for it.
I get a lot of flack for not backing down in arguments- for standing my ground and speaking my mind, even if popular opinion (in whatever form) is against me.
But still, there's a difference between vigorously defending what you believe and holding someone to a high factual and logical standard if you are to be convinced, and trying to force your opinion down someone's throat. Alot of the bullying you describe is something I fling right back. (But I will accept that I get some cache from being big and ferocious looking-that helps me be able to get away with it)
My final stance on arguing these things comes in as something like: "I don't NEED you to agree with me about everything, but if you want ME to believe what you believe, you've got to convince me that you know better than I do."
And when confronted occasionally with a jerk who simply can't believe that I think (whatever it is they don't think I should think) and they're saying something like "HOW can you possibly BELIEVE/THINK such a thing?" I have a really great snarky response when it's obvious that they're more interested in domination than debate:
I blink, look at them, and say "Like *this*".
Sometimes it takes a few tries before they finally get it. When they do, if they're interested, they can *try* to convince me, but usually when they realise that I am not only very comfortable not believing as they do, but that there's nothing they can do about it (short of truly convincing me), they are compelled to give up.
But contrary to my reputation I will admit that I was wrong on that rare occasion when I actually am.
Actually, it's been a very hard journey for me in the conduct of my life and my career, which inevitably found me relying on others who disagreed with which way "we" should go, because I HAVE been too willing to let people with proven BAD track records call the shots and then suffered for it, just to preserve harmony (which didn't work- surprise surprise). Which led me to the ever unpopular "being a jerk" because I finally learned to stand my ground and say "NO" to people who were leading me astray and did NOT have my best interest at heart. My problem kept being that the people with whom I've had to disagree and stand my ground kept being very popular and attractive to my other friends, which *naturally* meant that *I* was the troublemaker. sigh.
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I'm a lot more feisty and even tho I crave approval, (as do you I notice), I'm not one to go and hide from disagreement, and have been accused of being quite disagreeable for it.
I get a lot of flack for not backing down in arguments- for standing my ground and speaking my mind, even if popular opinion (in whatever form) is against me.
But still, there's a difference between vigorously defending what you believe and holding someone to a high factual and logical standard if you are to be convinced, and trying to force your opinion down someone's throat.
Alot of the bullying you describe is something I fling right back.
(But I will accept that I get some cache from being big and ferocious looking-that helps me be able to get away with it)
My final stance on arguing these things comes in as something like: "I don't NEED you to agree with me about everything, but if you want ME to believe what you believe, you've got to convince me that you know better than I do."
And when confronted occasionally with a jerk who simply can't believe that I think (whatever it is they don't think I should think) and they're saying something like "HOW can you possibly BELIEVE/THINK such a thing?" I have a really great snarky response when it's obvious that they're more interested in domination than debate:
I blink, look at them, and say "Like *this*".
Sometimes it takes a few tries before they finally get it. When they do, if they're interested, they can *try* to convince me, but usually when they realise that I am not only very comfortable not believing as they do, but that there's nothing they can do about it (short of truly convincing me), they are compelled to give up.
But contrary to my reputation I will admit that I was wrong on that rare occasion when I actually am.
Actually, it's been a very hard journey for me in the conduct of my life and my career, which inevitably found me relying on others who disagreed with which way "we" should go, because I HAVE been too willing to let people with proven BAD track records call the shots and then suffered for it, just to preserve harmony (which didn't work- surprise surprise). Which led me to the ever unpopular "being a jerk" because I finally learned to stand my ground and say "NO" to people who were leading me astray and did NOT have my best interest at heart. My problem kept being that the people with whom I've had to disagree and stand my ground kept being very popular and attractive to my other friends, which *naturally* meant that *I* was the troublemaker. sigh.